Thursday, 20 October 2011

To begin at the beginning

Hi, I am Sian and I have Multiple Sclerosis - fondly known as, MS.
I never thought I would ever have to say that.
Actually I still rarely say it.
Nine people in total know I have MS. Me, my husband, my mum, my dad, my neurologist, my MS nurse and a couple of friends and colleagues. Oh 10 if you count my dentist because last time I went for a check up he asked me if there were any medical conditions since my last visit. The question took me by surprise and it was the first time I had admitted it outside the circle of people who already know.
And I should confess, my name isn't actually Sian. But until I finally get the courage to admit it to other people that's how it is going to stay. 
Those with MS will probably think I'm a total idiot for being so coy about having it. But I'm not ready to answer the questions of the people I tell. Or, more truthfully, I don't want opinions to change of me from my nearest and dearest... and from those who don't think much of me. Yes, I know I am probably being a bit of a fool but I'm still trying to get to grips with this thing and I have serious moments of darkness about it at times.
So I've started this blog because I am about to undergo a treatment called alemtuzumab (also known as Campath and Lemtrada) and apart from this excellent and personal account from David Sturt on how he coped with having it, there hasn't been much patient point of view I can find on it - lots of medical information but not how it actually feels.
I am nervous but I am so hopeful about it. 
So in 25 days time I am going to be at University Hospital Wales in Cardiff getting my first dose. Bring it on.

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