Sunday 20 November 2011

Day two after the Big A - and I'm outta the closet!

I am feeling fine. I am a little lacking in energy but all-in-all I am ok.
There is no way I could do an epic shop or spend the night dancing. Chilling out at home is really the only thing I fancy doing to be honest but that is fine because that is precisely what I am doing.
I have to say, I felt much worse yesterday and didn’t hold out a great deal of hope for today when I went to bed last night. But the power of sleep never ceases to amaze me and today has been a whole different ball game.
And I reached a momentous decision this morning - I am pleased to let you know that I am now OUT OF THE MS CLOSET (or cupboard as I prefer to call them!)
Yep, this morning, I decided it was time to stop being such a wimp about having MS. Yes it is rubbish, but as was proved to me by some of the fellow patients of the hospital ward I was in last week, it could be a lot worse.
I’ve just had a really up-to-date drug to try and force my MS into hibernation, I don’t have any permanent symptoms to speak of and quite frankly, I’m as lucky as I can be with a diagnoses like this.
And so I finally got the courage to ring around various family members to let them know – and their reaction was pretty refreshing. Yes it is rubbish, but I’ve got it and now it’s time to get on with it. And despite my reluctance to land this enormous weight on them, my fears that they wouldn’t cope were completely unfounded and I feel cross with myself for under-estimating them. Funnily enough, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted in that I no longer have to try and hide something from them and I can just be me again.
There is one thing that’s changed in me, probably for the worse, and that is my empathy towards other people whose problems seem tiny and insignificant now. I just can’t stand listening to the moaning and whining of people who are fed up in their job or have fallen out with their husband or have a nightmare boss or are getting over a break up of a short love affair. Don’t get me wrong, I hate seeing them sad and fed up but at the same time, I want to give them a quick hug and then turn them around and give them a size six kick up the bum and tell them to get on with it! Life is too short to be messing about. But then I guess that as someone who has just come to terms with being told they have MS, I would be saying that and as time goes on, I too will start moaning about the mundane again. That’s being human for you!

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